Pas De Deux, Part 1

When Finn was born, the main questions John and I fielded from well-wishers included, “How is he sleeping through the night?” “Who do you think he looks like?” and “How are you handling the transition into parenthood?” (The answers, respectively, were “Terribly,” “He’s a true blend,” and “It depends on the day,” by the way.)

But since Shea’s birth, the question I’m most often asked is, “How is Finn handling the new competition?” The answer to this, like most things involved with having two children, is not so simple. The bottom line is that he adores his new baby sister and is learning to find his gentler side since her arrival. But the jealousy I had heard and read so much about manifested itself not in aggression towards Shea, as I had expected, but rather in combativeness towards John and me. In short, Finn became a real pistol.

For the first month or so after we brought Shea home our previously agreeable little guy turned into an argumentative contrarian. If we said up, he said down. If we went left, he went right. You get the picture. On a removed, intellectual level, it’s easy to see that Finn’s stark change in attitude was an attempt to extract attention from his otherwise preoccupied parents. But at the time—as I was unable to access any removed, intellectual levels—it was just a pain.

Thankfully things have evened out since those beginning weeks and we’ve all reached a better level of domestic equilibrium. Shea’s more self-contained now so we have more time for Finn. And Finn realizes that he’s not being replaced so he’s given up the continual pursuit of our attention. But what I've learned is that having two means you'll encounter some surprises along the way, and that the green-eyed monster you're prepared to protect your daughter from will sometimes turn and rear its adorable, sandy-blonde head your way.